


with you

by moonilymoth



Category: Kingdom Hearts, kh - Fandom
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 02:47:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18188780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonilymoth/pseuds/moonilymoth
Summary: "Despite all the nicks and scrapes and scabs, his hands always found some way to be so tender with Sora. The way he cupped his cheeks, or ran his hand through his messy hair, or nights like this where he held Sora close.He wondered, at times, if he was one of the only ones that felt that tenderness.And then – silently, selfishly – he hoped so."A typical late night for Sora, wrapped in Riku's arms while his insecurities rear their ugly heads.





	with you

**Author's Note:**

> i'd give my body to be back again  
> In the rest of the room  
> to be alone with you  
> to be alone with you  
> [Sufjan Stevens – To Be Alone with You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_paxKhWy3o)

It was roughly 4am when Sora first stirred awake, sleep still tugging at the edges of his mind and begging his eyes to remain shut. He decided not to listen though, groggily opening them and his eyesight adjusting to the dim room. He ignored the dull ache in his side, and how it spread from his shoulders down to the backs of his legs. He had grown use to the sensation that always seemed to cling his bones, no matter how much sleep he got or how many Curagas could be thrown his way.

A side effect from fighting too many battles with a body that was too young, he supposed.

To him, it was only a minor consequence. In the grand scheme of things, a little daily ache was nothing compared to the pain he saved countless others from experiencing, right? So, it was okay. He never voiced the feelings to any of his friends, but he knew at times they could tell. The way Kairi gazed at him with soft but sad and understanding eyes, or how Riku helped with tasks they both knew that Sora was capable of doing himself.

He raised a hand to tiredly paw at one of his eyes, yawning and wiping away the bit of watering. Slowly, his mind caught up to speed, first registering the warmth pressed flush against his back. He already knew its source, of course. His body relaxed back down against Riku’s chest, a small sigh escaping him.

He glanced down a bit to see where Riku’s arms encircled him from over the blanket, a warm feeling spreading in his chest. Sora’s fingers moved to trace the muscles – following the lines, the dips and curves from his elbow and down his forearm, all the way to Riku’s hand. Gently, carefully, he took the other’s hand, raising it some and turning it over to trace the lines on his palm.

Riku’s hand… It was cooler to the touch compared to his own, but held a similar roughness as his, worn with callouses from countless duels and fights. It was one of the many ways they mirrored each other, their experiences all too similar – especially when most of them were fueled by the other, in one way or another.

And yet, despite all the nicks and scrapes and scabs, his hands always found some way to be so tender with Sora. The way he cupped his cheeks, or ran his hand through his messy hair, or nights like this where he held Sora close.

He wondered, at times, if he was one of the only ones that felt that tenderness.

And then – silently, selfishly – he hoped so.

Sora tilted his head back slightly to look up at Riku’s face, still peacefully asleep with his chin resting on top of Sora’s head. The movement caused his hair to tickle against the other’s skin, and he couldn’t help but watch with sleepy amusement as Riku’s face scrunched up slightly before relaxing once more.

He felt he would never truly get tired of seeing Riku’s face. Even though he knew every feature, every change from over the years and every blemish like the back of his hand, he would never get tired of seeing it.

He never hoped he would, either.

Sora spent far too along away from him, far too long searching for him. Months and years apart felt more like eternities, and now he was determined to treasure every second he could spend with Riku. To see his smile, or that cocky grin, or the way he would look at him so gently.

He shifted his position in Riku’s arms, shimmying and turning until he was facing him. He lifted his hand to allow his fingers to softly run along the outline of his features. With his hand resting against the side of Riku’s face and his own cheek pressed into the pillow, he grazed his thumb along his skin, back and forth over his cheek; his index finger then moving to trace along Riku’s brow, down his cheekbone, and then to his jaw before back up again. Moving it down the side of his nose, all the way to his cupid’s bow, before his thumb rested against Riku’s lips; his thumb then gently caressing over his lips to the corner and back again.

These were Riku’s lips, ones he’s kissed a hundred times before and he hoped to kiss a hundred times more. Ranging from simple and quick pecks, to more tender kisses that made all the negative feelings melt away. Ones that stole cheeky kisses, to ones that whispered reassurances and kissed away his tears late at night.

Too many times he was ripped away from his friends, from his family. Too many times he spent missing them, longing for them, searching desperately for them. He hoped – prayed even – that he would not have to experience that again.

He was here now though, wasn’t he? Here, safe in Riku’s arms, warm in their bed and drowsy from a comfortable sleep. He wouldn’t have to be apart from him again.

_But what if you do? What if you lose him again? Lose them all again?_

_It’s inevitable._

_You won’t be able to keep them, to protect them._

_You’re going to end up alone._

All at once, his thoughts came to a halt. His breath hitched, his throat painfully constricting and his chest tightly squeezing. It was not unusual for him to get these thoughts – they were quite common, actually. That he would be alone again, that he was never good _enough_ , that everything he did would amount to absolutely nothing. Typically though, he could wave them off with a smile, place on a front and bury the feelings deep down. He had allowed himself to get too comfortable in the moment, left himself vulnerable to those painful thoughts, which felt like slamming directly into a brick wall. All he could feel now was himself spiraling.

He could feel the anxiety bundling up inside of him in tight, aching knots. The way it clawed at his heart, digging its cruel fingers in and sinking ever deeper. His fingers trembled against Riku’s face, before he pulled his hand away to ball into a fist. He pressed the heel of his palm against his eye as he sniffled, biting down on his lower lip and squeezing them shut. He hated crying and the way it would open up the floodgates to his emotions, how they overtook him all at once, but there were too many cracks in his dam and so he could not hold back the tears as they formed and trailed down his cheeks.

_I don’t want to lose him._

_I can’t lose him. Not again. Please God, not again._

The tiniest sob managed to escape him, though quickly silenced as he bit down harder. He hated this. He didn’t want to feel like this – feel so petrified, so scared of being alone and losing everyone again. He wished he could just scoop those thoughts and feelings up, toss them out and let them have no place in his heart.

However though, his whirlwind of emotions stopped dead as he heard Riku’s drowsy but concerned voice.

“Sora?”

• • •

Over time, Riku had become more comfortable with deeper sleep again. There was a sort of comfort and security that came with sleeping with Sora. When they were first reunited, he was an incredibly light sleeper – jolting painfully awake at any loud sound or out of place movement. Now though, he could rest easy at night, knowing that the two of them were safe under their covers.

Or, at least, partially safe. He was acutely aware of the inner turmoil both of them wrestled with, of the mental scars and crushing expectations, of the fears and nightmares that plagued them. Sora hid them well from others, but not from him – especially not when he was confronted with them every night.

It was startling at first, being Sora’s dream eater. Over time though, he came to be thankful for it. He knew of everything Sora struggled with through unspoken words and gestures, and so he was glad at least during the nights, he could ease some of the pain off his shoulders. It was beneficial for him anyways. There was a certain thrill that came from grappling with Sora’s nightmares, to be able to rip them apart with his hands and teeth and erase their existence with a swallow. It allowed him to sleep soundly at night, and for Riku to vent out any pent up anger in a productive manner. It was almost addictive, in a way.

Due to this though, he typically woke up whenever Sora did. The cutoff of a dream usually signaled him to wake up too, though there were times his body was aware it was still early and insisted on remaining asleep. He was used to it by now anyways, becoming more aware over time of how Sora tended to wake up in the middle of the night before dozing back off after a while.

However, the sound of a quiet sob pierced through the beginnings of his own dream, shaking him awake. He had to fight against his own drowsiness at first to open his eyes, but once he did, his heart sunk.

“Sora?”

All at once, any fatigue left receded from his conscious as he saw Sora’s crying face in front of him. He lifted his head some, pulling the other boy closer instinctively and raising a hand to run a hand through his hair. “Sora? What’s wrong?” He murmured, taken off guard. It was not the first time he had ever seen Sora cry, but it was always a bit jarring, especially now.

Where had this come from? He had already rid Sora of his nightmares, so what happened?

Sora stiffened at Riku’s voice and the tighter embrace, not having expected Riku to wake up. “R-Riku--… I-..”

He hated to cry in front of Riku like this and make him worry, but now that he already started he couldn’t hold back. He pressed his lips together before letting out a small hiccup, squeezing his eyes shut again. His fingers curled tightly into the fabric of Riku’s shirt as he clung onto him, trying to bury himself within his arms and that warmth.

Tipping his head forward, he rested his forehead against the other’s collarbone, tucked right under his chin. Another sob came out, a bit louder this time, as his tears started to collect and wet Riku’s shirt.

And then, in the tiniest broken voice, Sora whispered easily one of the most heartbreaking things Riku had heard.

“Please d-don’t leave me, Ri-Riku… d-don’t leave me a..again, pl-please..”

Hearing that felt like an arrow went straight through his heart, and caused Riku to further tighten his embrace. He moved his head to bury his face into Sora’s hair, taking in a deep and steadying breath as he cradled the back of his head.

“I won’t leave you, Sora… I’ll make sure of it, I promise,” He replied in a quiet and gentle voice, his other hand running up and down the length of Sora’s back in a soothing motion.

_Never again._

Moments like these only furthered his resolve, hardened his determination to right his wrongs. He would never leave Sora again. Not in a thousand life times. He would fight tooth and nail to remain by his side, to be with him for another day, another hour, another second.

_Never again._

Slowly, achingly so, Sora began to unwind and relieve some of the tension pulled tight in his body. Riku always knew what actions made him feel better, how to hold and comfort him in just the right ways. He sucked in a hard breath before shakily releasing it, opening his eyes once more. He glanced up towards Riku, taking in his expression and the way he looked down at him. There was no judgement, no harshness – only a soft sadness, concern evident in his gaze. There was always something about the way Riku looked at him that made him feel secure. That Riku didn’t look at him like he was dumb, or hopeless, or just a _mistake._

His eyes fluttered closed again as he felt Riku’s hand against his cheek, his thumb tenderly grazing across his wet skin to wipe away his tears. He sighed out at the touch, taking comfort in the simple gesture. He turned his head to press his face against Riku’s palm, feeling his fingers twitch but otherwise remain there. “I’m sorry…” He mumbled, the smallest hints of shame lacing his voice.

He felt a squeeze in his chest as Riku leaned his head down, pressing a kiss to Sora’s temple before turning his face back to him. “Don’t be. It’s alright.”

Was it really alright? He wondered. He attempted to not question it too hard though, and to instead remain in this moment, to allow himself to be comforted. He tilted his face a bit again to press a kiss against the inside of Riku’s hand, catching from the corner of his eye how Riku’s face flushed just slightly.

“Well looks like someone’s already feeling a bit better,” Riku teased, lightly pinching Sora’s cheek.

He let out a small whine at that, glancing up to him again. “How could I not when I have you?”

Riku blinked, color tinting his face a bit. He sighed out at that before cupping Sora’s face, tilting his head down to kiss him. “What am I supposed to do with you…?” He mumbled against his lips, rubbing his thumbs against Sora’s cheeks.

Sora easily melted into it, eyes closing as he tugged a little on Riku’s shirt. “Mm.. stay with me?” He replied softly, a small bit of desperation laced in his words. Even now, his mind could only scream _don’t go, don’t go, don’t go, oh god please don’t leave me._

Pulling back, Riku gazed down at him and those deep blue eyes that stared right back, desperate for some kind of validation. He ran another hand through Sora’s hair, hugging him close. “Of course.. I’ll always be here, right with you.”

Right… he would be here, right with him. Right where he was supposed to be. Sora sighed out and released the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, leaning his cheek against Riku’s collarbone. He lazily traced the outline of the bone with his finger, before peacefully closing his eyes.

Riku continued to gaze down at him as he watched Sora eventually drift back off, his fingers combing through the messy brown hair. “I promise… I’ll make sure to always be with you,” He whispered to no one in particular, staring off at the far wall.

_Never again will I leave._

_I promise, Sora._

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ever fic!! aka where i pretend to write, theres a lot of prose, and overall ends up really gay. i hope you all enjoyed it though! dreameater riku is also based off of @llien's fic [bone+tissue](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17537576) so go read that its so good 
> 
> find me at twitter @moonilymoth or tumblr @moonprincett !


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